You may think that adapting to the situation or changing your desires will help you seem more helpful, approachable or likeable. But the fact is: that’s only compromising your values.
Granted, there are ‘major issues’ and ‘minor’ ones. It’s your job to know whether to know if what you’re compromising on are your values or not.
And if for any reason it seems like your values are being stepped on, if you accept someone’s way of being which is directly affecting your life, you you lay down your guard and stop standing for what you believe in, you are literally killing yourself softly.
You may not know it.
You may not even feel it.
You may tell yourself “I’m being reasonable here”.
But I’ll assure you, if you sacrifice your values, there’s no going back. People will take that for granted. People will expect you to budge or turn around completely just because your voice doesn’t matter. Your word doesn’t matter. Your opinion doesn’t matter.
This can turn into a shit-show of you being trampled on by not only those around you, but your loved ones, even your client’s.
If you so much as compromise on something that is utterly a deal breaker for you, then you, my friend, must TAKE A STAND FOR IT.
It’s important enough to be a value, it’s important enough to stand for.
If it’s important enough to stand for, then you better take a stand for it so as to not confuse your subconscious mind with saying one thing and actually doing another.
Recently I had a situation come up in a close relationship of mine. I was faced with standing in my power and keeping to the values I live by of love, connection and support.
I knew this ‘talk’ would be a tough one so I decided to journal on it. And journal on it hard, like umpteen pages worth in 1 sitting.
During this journal writing session I got really clear on what it meant to stand in my power. What it meant to my life, my future, my legacy.
And I wrote from the perspective of my son’s eyes.
What kind of example was I demonstrating for him?
Am I a woman who is compassionate yet also firm in my desires?
Am I a woman who respects others and also respects herself?
Am I a woman who believes in the greater good of the whole and also knows the potential poison that can infiltrate situations?
This talk was a pretty emotional talk. Hence the upwards of 20 pages written on the subject. Dissecting. Discovering. Understanding the reasons things happen FOR us instead of TO us.
It was a long process, as you can imagine.
And when it came time to communicate my thoughts, desires and feelings I made the conscious choice to STAY IN MY BODY. This may sound a bit confusing for you as most people ‘stay in their bodies’ all the time. But, due to an early devastating experience I had learned the ability to dissociate from my current situation and completely detach from my being. Literally this is like standing in the upper corner of the room and watching myself as I speak. This tactic was a safety mechanism I taught myself so that I didn’t have to feel the pain of the moment.
But this time, I consciously chose to remain within. Knowing that I would full well BE in the feeling, BE in the moment, BE in the hurt that would show up.
In psychology there is a common saying: “The only way out is through”.
I wanted out of the pain.
I wanted out of the hurt.
I wanted out of the compromising.
So I chose to stay within. I stayed in my power. I stated my beliefs. I stated my thoughts. I stated my desires.
Fully 100% owning them and allowing whatever was to unfold, to unfold.
What I can tell you is that I hadn’t slept as good as I did that night. I literally felt lighter. I felt happier. I felt full of purpose to create my dreams and trust in the Universe/God that everything was happening exactly as it was meant to.
I would be ok.
I would be supported.
I would be whole and complete.
This little step of stepping into my power allowed me to step out of a disempowering situation that could have seen me sacrificing what I believed in. Sacrificing my values. Sacrificing my life.
I knew there may be pain ahead, but it was sure less than the pain I would feel had I succumbed to the wants and deeds of others who are not in ALIGNMENT with my values, goals and dreams.
My message to you is to tap into that power you have within you to support you, motivate you and inspire you to create and live the life you desire.
In power and love,